For the Abusive Parent
A Short Note to You
If you are an abusive parent...
At CPPA, we believe people who hurt others could have been hurt themselves, especially when they were a child. Not all people who were hurt will hurt others though. We are sorry for any pain you have experienced and/or hardship you have endured in your life. We urge you to get the help you need. We also ask you to step aside from custody of your children at this time while you are healing. Supervised visits with your child/children may be a solution for you at this time.
We want you to get better. Nobody is perfect, we all need help. If you are in a situation where you are suffering from any addiction, we know this is the method you use to mask your pain. It may not be helpful to your child/children to be around you during this time. Think about when you were a child. Did you not want the proper care and to feel safe? You can do what is right and break a trauma cycle. You can heal and prevent your child/children from repeating the cycle of pain. Do you want to have your child stay in trauma? You can allow your child to live with a safe parent right now. This is not meant to be a punishment or abuse of your rights, it is to do what is best for your child.
If you are suffering from or have issues with control, rage, pedophilia, narcissism, the desire to hurt others, etc., we ask that you get help. We want you to show your child that we all need help. Sometimes we need more help to the point we need to just focus on ourselves. Teach your child/children that self care comes first so they too can care for others as a healthy person.
Children forced into relationships with an abusive parent are more likely to separate from the abusive parent when they are old enough to do so and permanently end the relationship. Abusive parents who seek help, grow as individuals as they stand in the truth, apologize and seek forgiveness are more likely to continue a relationship with their child in their lives.
It is a gift to your child to heal and be responsible. You are here to guide your children and provide them a safe and healthy environment.
Resources for You
- Books
- Article
- Interviews with Experts via TAALK (Talk About Abuse to Liberate Kids), Diane Cranley
- Why People Perpetrate and Can They Be Helped?, Diane Cranley with Fred Berlin, the Founder of Johns Hopkins Sex Offender Treatment Program (2011)
- Registered Sex Offender, Confrontation, Compassion and Forgiveness: A Triage for Transformation, Diane Cranley with Nancy Irwin - Sex Offender Treatment Therapist and Wayne Bowers (2011)
- The Missing Link to Child Sexual Abuse Prevention - Offender Policy, Treatment and Community Reentry, DIane Cranley with Alisa Klein - Public Policy Consultant for the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers (2011)
- Video